{"id":1999,"date":"2023-04-13T18:59:16","date_gmt":"2023-04-13T23:59:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.stolaf.edu\/nourishing-vocation\/?p=1999"},"modified":"2025-03-05T14:52:01","modified_gmt":"2025-03-05T20:52:01","slug":"when-god-says-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.stolaf.edu\/nourishing-vocation\/2023\/04\/when-god-says-no\/","title":{"rendered":"When God says No"},"content":{"rendered":"

By: Emily King-Nobles,\u00a0<\/span>NVP Fellow<\/span><\/p>\n

Date: April, 13th, 2023<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"
Photos taken by the author on a recent trip to Israel.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I recently had the opportunity to be a pilgrim in The Holy Lands. I walked where Jesus walked and saw what Jesus saw. I was struck by the places where Jesus performed miracles. There seemed to be healing all over these lands. As I reread the story of Lazurus raised from the dead (John 11), a man healed in the pool of Bethesda (John 5), and a woman healed by touching Jesus\u2019 cloak (Mark 5), I was reminded of the surrealness of healing. Yet, I also encountered an uncomfortable feeling in my chest.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Why do only some people get healed, God?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Why did that man get a miracle, but my cousin did not?\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Where are the instantaneous miracles today, Jesus?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Why has my own prayer for healing taken 6 years and counting?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n<\/span>These questions of \u201cwhy\u201d left an uneasiness.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For I had been in The Holy Lands previously. I was 18 at the time and lost in medical diagnoses\u2019 and uncertainty. While there, I stood in the cave where Jesus was born and begged God for a miracle. The entirety of my group stood in that narrow space, surrounding me with hands while my dad prayed aloud for a miracle of healing. Afterwards, I was informed by one tour host that she had watched this happen before for a girl with a similar diagnosis. She returned home and was healed. It was incredible. This story\u2014and the serene, indescribable peace I felt in that cave, gave me hope. I believed in healing for the first time in months.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was incredible.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

And then.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nothing happened.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t healed. <\/span>
\n<\/span>I was angry.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mad. Scared. Lost.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why. God. Why?<\/span><\/p>\n

God said no (or so I thought). What was I supposed to do with this?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What are we supposed to do when God says no?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When God says not right now?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Or yes, but in a different way than you\u2019d like?<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, first of all, I believe we can take our outrage to God.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRighteous anger\u201d.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a thing, I promise:)<\/span><\/p>\n

We must begin acknowledging in church the different kinds of healing that take place. Sometimes, God heals with a miracle. And it\u2019s incredible. But more often than not, He responds differently. Truthfully, I don\u2019t know why God heals some people and doesn\u2019t with others. But I do know this: Even Jesus begged for the cup to be taken from His hands.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"
Photos taken by the author on a recent trip to Israel.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

He knelt in the Garden of Gethsemane and prayed for His father to take away the crucifixion. He asked for a different outcome and then concluded His prayer with, \u201cNot my will, but Yours be done\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

What a powerful statement.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Not my will, but Yours.<\/span><\/p>\n

I think we so often forget the promises of God. He never promised ease. He never promised earthly healing. He never promised a \u201cyes\u201d to every request. But he did promise His presence. He did promise His peace. He did promise redemption through it all.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jesus still heals. Jesus still redeems. It just isn\u2019t always in the way we ask for.<\/span><\/p>\n

As for me, I have watched the way God has worked in the last 3 years. It wasn\u2019t in the instantaneous healing I initially wanted. But it has been in a way that has brought many other blessings into my life. I discovered new doctors, clinics, medicines and cutting-edge research that have slowly transformed my life. Not on one particular day, but in a heartbreaking, yet beautiful journey.<\/span><\/p>\n

While I might not have found complete earthly healing, I have found freedom. Freedom does not require a clean bill of health, a full bank account or a perfect marriage. It is found in the peace that Jesus offers us in the \u201cmessy middle\u201d. It is in understanding that God\u2019s call for our lives is not in showing up with it all together, but showing up as we are, with the broken pieces, and believing that the best is truly yet to come.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Not my will, but yours be done, Jesus.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I would not have chosen this path for my life. Yet, I see the redemption that has come through it all. In the ashes, beauty has risen.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If you receive one of those instant miracles, I\u2019m happy for you. Seriously, that is incredible and I would love to hear about it. But for those of you out there like me, begging for a miracle that has not come\u2014and truthfully might never\u2014I want to encourage you to look for the mini miracles. It might be one doctor\u2019s appointment. One call from a friend. One slice of warm bread. One encouraging word in church. Those are all mini miracles propelling us forward during the hard times.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

While you wait, take strength in the knowledge that God has not, and will never leave you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Healing looks different for everyone. But the promises of God, those remain the same.<\/span><\/p>\n

I leave you with these lyrics from \u201cCome as you Are\u201d by Crowder.<\/span><\/p>\n

\ud83c\udfb5Oh, wanderer, come home<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

You\u2019re not too far<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

So lay down your hurt,<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

lay down your heart<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Come as you are<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

There\u2019s hope for the hopeless,<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

and all those who\u2019ve strayed<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Come sit at the table<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

come taste the grace<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

There\u2019s rest for the weary,<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

rest that endres<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Earth has no sorrow<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

that Heaven can\u2019t cure\ud83c\udfb5<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

The views in the post are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Lutheran Center or St. Olaf College.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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