{"id":2318,"date":"2021-02-08T22:28:00","date_gmt":"2021-02-09T04:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.stolaf.edu\/wellness\/?page_id=2318"},"modified":"2023-06-12T12:12:31","modified_gmt":"2023-06-12T17:12:31","slug":"relationships-in-a-pandemic","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/wp.stolaf.edu\/wellness\/relationships-in-a-pandemic\/","title":{"rendered":"Boundaries"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-modular-content-collection><!-- begin-migrated-from-panel-builder -->\t\t\t<div\n\t\t\tclass=\"site-section site-panel__image_overlay panel panel-image_overlay site-section__bg--default\"\n\t\t\tdata-depth=\"\"\n\t\t\tdata-js-panel=\"image-overlay\"\n\t\t>\n\t\n\t\t<div class=\"site-section__inner site-section__inner--no-padding\">\n\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t<div role=\"img\" aria-label=\"\" style=\"background-image:url('');\" loading=\"lazy\"  class=\"site-section__bg-img site-section__bg-img--m-stack\"><\/div>\n\n\t\t<style>\n\t\t@media all and ( min-width: 960px ) {\n\t\t\t#site-panel__image-overlay-69e481558f0f9 {\n\t\t\t\theight: 500px;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t}\n\t<\/style>\n\t\n\t\t\t\t\n    \n\t<div id=\"site-panel__image-overlay-69e481558f0f9\" class=\"site-panel__img-overlay-wrap site-panel__img-overlay--no-ribbon horz-center vert-middle\">\n\n\t\t<div class=\"site-panel__img-overlay-content\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"t-content t-content--light\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"site-section__title bold\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\tdata-depth=\"0\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\tdata-name=\"title\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\tdata-autop\n\t\t\t\t\t\tdata-livetext\n\t\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t\tBoundaries\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-section__desc\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\tdata-depth=\"0\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\tdata-name=\"content\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\tdata-autop\n\t\t\t\t\t\tdata-livetext\n\t\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>boundaries are an invitation to connect<\/p>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n\n\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\n\t\t\t<div\n\t\t\tclass=\"site-section site-panel__imagetext panel panel-imagetext site-section__bg--default\"\n\t\t\tdata-depth=\"\"\n\t\t\tdata-js-panel=\"imagetext\"\n\t\t>\n\t\n\t\t<div class=\"site-section__inner site-section__inner--no-padding\">\n\n\t\n\t\n\t<div class=\"site-grid site-grid__no-gutters  site-panel__imgtxt-img-right\">\n\t\t<div class=\"site-grid__col\">\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n<div class=\"c-video\">\n\t<div class=\"wp-embed wp-embed--lazy\"><div class=\"wp-embed-wrap\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Boundaries (Whole Program)\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/2D44zcWfyBs?start=4&#038;feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t<div class=\"site-grid__col site-grid__col-safari-fix\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"site-panel__imgtxt-content\">\n\t\t\t\t\n<div class=\"c-text\">\n\n\t\n\n\t\t\t<div class=\"c-text__desc t-content\" data-depth=\"0\" data-name=\"content\" data-autop=\"true\" data-livetext>\n\t\t\t<p>This video is the first of many to come as part of the Whole Program, a mental wellness video program for St. Olaf students. Each week throughout the academic year, we will release one video on a specific topic related to mental wellness and our website will have additional resources. The whole idea is that students will review the video and resources and reflect on ONE strategy they&#8217;d like to focus on in their life each week.<\/p>\n<p>This week, the focus is on BOUNDARIES. Many students come to college excited to make friends and find their place in the college community. This being said, relationships, be them friendships, romantic relationships, or even relationships with professors and other faculty, are difficult to navigate at times. In fact, one of the primary stressors for college students is making new friends and transforming existing friendships. Boundaries are a valuable but challenging aspect of relationships. Establishing healthy boundaries in relationships helps to create guidelines that are comfortable for you and will uphold your self-esteem and self-respect.<\/p>\n<p>How will you try to build boundaries in the coming week?<\/p>\n\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\n\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\n\t\t\t<div\n\t\t\tclass=\"site-section site-panel__tabs panel panel-tabs site-section__bg--default\"\n\t\t\tdata-depth=\"\"\n\t\t\tdata-js-panel=\"tabs\"\n\t\t>\n\t\n\t\t<div class=\"site-section__inner\" data-js=\"tabs\">\n\n\t\n\t\t\t<header class=\"l-wrapper site-section__header site-section__title site-section__title--center h3\">\n\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"site-section__title site-section__title--center h3\" id=\"revisiting-establishing-boundaries\" data-name=\"title\" data-livetext data-depth=\"0\" data-index=\"0\">Revisiting\/Establishing Boundaries<\/h2>\n\n\t\t<\/header>\n\t\n\n\t\t\t\t<ul class=\"site-panel__tablist\" data-js=\"tab-list\" role=\"tablist\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"site-panel__tab-item\" role=\"presentation\" data-js=\"tab-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<button\n\t\t\t\t\t\tclass=\"site-panel__tab-btn site-panel__tab-btn--active\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\tdata-js=\"site-panel__tab\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\tdata-target=\"site-panel__tab-content-1\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\trole=\"tab\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\taria-controls=\"site-panel__tab-content-1\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\taria-selected=\"false\"\n\t\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"u-visual-hide\">Show<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tStep 1\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"u-visual-hide\">Content<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/button>\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"site-panel__tab-item\" role=\"presentation\" data-js=\"tab-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<button\n\t\t\t\t\t\tclass=\"site-panel__tab-btn  \"\n\t\t\t\t\t\tdata-js=\"site-panel__tab\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\tdata-target=\"site-panel__tab-content-2\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\trole=\"tab\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\taria-controls=\"site-panel__tab-content-2\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\taria-selected=\"false\"\n\t\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"u-visual-hide\">Show<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tStep 2\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"u-visual-hide\">Content<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/button>\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"site-panel__tab-item\" role=\"presentation\" data-js=\"tab-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<button\n\t\t\t\t\t\tclass=\"site-panel__tab-btn  \"\n\t\t\t\t\t\tdata-js=\"site-panel__tab\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\tdata-target=\"site-panel__tab-content-3\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\trole=\"tab\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\taria-controls=\"site-panel__tab-content-3\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\taria-selected=\"false\"\n\t\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"u-visual-hide\">Show<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tStep 3\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"u-visual-hide\">Content<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/button>\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-panel__tab-content-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"site-panel__tab-content-1\" class=\"site-panel__tab-content site-panel__tab-content--active\" role=\"tabpanel\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<article class=\"panel panel-child panel--type-wysiwyg\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-section site-panel__wysiwyg panel panel-wysiwyg site-section__bg--default\" data-depth=\"1\" data-js-panel=\"wysiwyg\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-section__inner l-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-section__content \">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-grid site-grid__wrapper site-grid__wrapper-stagger\" data-depth=\"0\" data-name=\"columns\" data-livetext>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-grid__col\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-panel__wysiwyg-content\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"t-content  site-section \" data-depth=\"0\" data-index=\"0\" data-autop=\"true\" data-name=\"column_content\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>1. Feel your feelings. To know what your boundaries are, you need to feel your feelings, trust them, and use them as a guide.<\/p>\n<p>For example, anger indicates that a boundary has been crossed. Another example is anxiety, which indicates that you are not comfortable with something. Joy and love, for example, indicate that your boundaries are being respected. Strengthening your mind-body connection will support you in feeling your feelings, trusting them, and using them to guide you.<\/p>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .site-grid__col -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .site-grid, .site-grid__wrapper -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .site-section__content -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!--.site-section__inner -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .site-section -->\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"site-panel__tab-content-2\" class=\"site-panel__tab-content  \" role=\"tabpanel\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<article class=\"panel panel-child panel--type-wysiwyg\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-section site-panel__wysiwyg panel panel-wysiwyg site-section__bg--default\" data-depth=\"1\" data-js-panel=\"wysiwyg\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-section__inner l-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-section__content \">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-grid site-grid__wrapper site-grid__wrapper-stagger\" data-depth=\"0\" data-name=\"columns\" data-livetext>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-grid__col\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-panel__wysiwyg-content\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"t-content  site-section \" data-depth=\"0\" data-index=\"0\" data-autop=\"true\" data-name=\"column_content\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong>2. Take action.<\/strong>\u00a0When you set a boundary, it should be clear that you\u2019re communicating what you need in order to be in the relationship. You\u2019re communicating that when the boundary is crossed, you no longer feel safe, loved, and respected, and you have to take action to take care of yourself.<\/p>\n<p>This may mean taking time away from your partner, limiting the amount of time with them, lessening what topics you\u2019re willing to engage in, or, at its most extreme, ending the relationship. What you need to do to take care of yourself depends on the boundary and its meaning for you.<\/p>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .site-grid__col -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .site-grid, .site-grid__wrapper -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .site-section__content -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!--.site-section__inner -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .site-section -->\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"site-panel__tab-content-3\" class=\"site-panel__tab-content  \" role=\"tabpanel\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<article class=\"panel panel-child panel--type-wysiwyg\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-section site-panel__wysiwyg panel panel-wysiwyg site-section__bg--default\" data-depth=\"1\" data-js-panel=\"wysiwyg\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-section__inner l-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-section__content \">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-grid site-grid__wrapper site-grid__wrapper-stagger\" data-depth=\"0\" data-name=\"columns\" data-livetext>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-grid__col\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-panel__wysiwyg-content\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"t-content  site-section \" data-depth=\"0\" data-index=\"0\" data-autop=\"true\" data-name=\"column_content\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong>3. Take ownership.<\/strong>\u00a0Boundaries are yours to set and hold. You decide what you need and what you want to do if you\u2019re not being treated the way you want to be.<\/p>\n<p>No one else can decide what is acceptable to you besides you.\u00a0If someone isn\u2019t respecting your boundaries, you don\u2019t have to wait helplessly until they do. You can take action to take care of yourself.\u00a0You have more power than you realize, but you have to stop blaming others and start taking ownership of your life.<\/p>\n<div class=\"markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-7\" data-slot-position=\"7\"><\/div>\n<p>We, as humans, will do a lot to hold onto our attachments. It\u2019s not easy to let people go. It\u2019s scary to set boundaries and risk that people will leave.<\/p>\n<p>Rather than accepting that someone doesn\u2019t respect what you need and moving on, people will often soften their boundaries to stay in the relationship. This will allow the relationship to continue, but it will not be a fulfilling relationship. If you\u2019ve set consequences for violating your boundaries and the behavior hasn\u2019t stopped, you may have to accept that the relationship isn\u2019t going to work for you.<\/p>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .site-grid__col -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .site-grid, .site-grid__wrapper -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .site-section__content -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!--.site-section__inner -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .site-section -->\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\n\t\t\t<div\n\t\t\tclass=\"site-section site-panel__micronavbutton panel panel-micronavbutton site-section__bg--default\"\n\t\t\tdata-depth=\"\"\n\t\t\tdata-js-panel=\"micronavbutton\"\n\t\t>\n\t\n\t    <div class=\"site-section__inner site-section__inner--top-padding-none site-section__inner--bottom-padding-none micronavbutton\">\n\n\t\t\n\t\n\t<div class=\"site-grid site-grid__no-gutters\"\n\t     data-depth=\"0\"\n\t     data-name=\"buttons\"\n\t     data-livetext\n\t>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-grid__col\">\n\t\t\t\t<a class=\"site-panel__micronavbtn-btn u-bc-cranberry\"\n\t\t\t\t   \thref=\"https:\/\/docs.google.com\/presentation\/d\/15TT0WXojaZbCFSyJxs_gvL1WTEu1krVPGwkCfoNMVjg\/edit?usp=sharing\"\n\t\t\t\t   \ttarget=\"\"\n\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"site-panel__micronavbtn-btn-label\">Wellness Center Event<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"site-panel__micronavbtn-btn-desc\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\tBoundaries Presentation\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div> <!-- .site-grid__col -->\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-grid__col\">\n\t\t\t\t<a class=\"site-panel__micronavbtn-btn u-bc-teal\"\n\t\t\t\t   \thref=\"https:\/\/www.therapistaid.com\/worksheets\/boundaries-psychoeducation-printout.pdf\"\n\t\t\t\t   \ttarget=\"\"\n\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"site-panel__micronavbtn-btn-label\">Types of Boundaries<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"site-panel__micronavbtn-btn-desc\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\tWorksheet\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div> <!-- .site-grid__col -->\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"site-grid__col\">\n\t\t\t\t<a class=\"site-panel__micronavbtn-btn u-bc-purple\"\n\t\t\t\t   \thref=\"https:\/\/www.therapistaid.com\/worksheets\/setting-boundaries.pdf\"\n\t\t\t\t   \ttarget=\"\"\n\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"site-panel__micronavbtn-btn-label\">Setting Boundaries<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"site-panel__micronavbtn-btn-desc\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\tWorksheet\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div> <!-- .site-grid__col -->\n\t\t\n\t<\/div> <!-- .site-grid -->\n\n\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\n<!-- end-migrated-from-panel-builder --><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1247,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-2318","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P4Iir5-Bo","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.stolaf.edu\/wellness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2318","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.stolaf.edu\/wellness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.stolaf.edu\/wellness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.stolaf.edu\/wellness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1247"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.stolaf.edu\/wellness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2318"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/wp.stolaf.edu\/wellness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2318\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4289,"href":"https:\/\/wp.stolaf.edu\/wellness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2318\/revisions\/4289"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.stolaf.edu\/wellness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2318"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}