By Emily King-Nobles. NVP Fellow

Life is a rollercoaster. I tend to think of my life as a series of highs, a series of lows and lots of space in between. What’s gotten me through it all has been the people braving the rollercoaster with me. When the highs are high, my people are cheering in joy beside me. When the lows are low, they are holding me tightly. If that’s not the key to getting through this crazy ride of life, I don’t know what is. 

This weekend brought a special kind of roller coaster, one with a high high and a low low all wrapped in one beautifully heartbreaking weekend. I never thought I would use beautiful and heartbreak in a sentence. It truly is the only way to describe this weekend, though. For on Thursday, we buried my cousin. My sweet, loving, adventurous, teddy bear of a cousin. I wept and wept over the life that was no more, the trips we would no longer take together, the drugs that robbed his future and the people who gave up on him when it mattered most. I wept for my family and the Austin-sized hole that will never heal. Thursday was hard. Thursday was broken. Thursday was the end of something.

Yet, just two days later, I watched his twin brother beam over getting to marry the love of his life. I wept and wept over the life they were beginning, the adventures they will have together, the love that has brought them here and the people in the room who support them unconditionally. It was a new start. Saturday was the beginning of something beautiful. 

My mind was conflicted much of this weekend. I felt the extremes of sadness and joy. I hugged my aunt as she mourned for one son and smiled for the other. It was in these moments that I recalled the words of my high school youth pastor. “You can hold all the things, Em”. For at the time, I was going through my first breakup, balancing anger with heartache and relief with regret. I was holding so much more than just sadness. What my youth pastor did was validate the realness of a confused mind. She opened me up to a world of complexities. A world that is angry and heartbroken. A world that is relieved, while full of regret. A world that is beautiful and broken. 

As I’ve been reflecting on this past weekend, I feel so many emotions over the enormous loss and the enormous gain that took place. I am holding all of that. I believe it is holy. What makes it holier is the overwhelming love that was present through it all. It was the same friends and family at the Thursday graveside and at the Saturday wedding. For when we agree to take on friendship in this life, we agree to show up at the crucifixion and the resurrection. The people that showed up exemplify this so well. We have all walked through fires together. This weekend provided much healing to me, mostly because of our shared emotions. We aren’t meant to do this life alone. The world is scary and the world is insanely cool. So, my friend, hold all the things today. But don’t hold any of it alone. 

For when the highs are high, find people screaming for joy beside you. And when the lows are low, find people holding you tightly. And that right there, might just be the key to life.