Bystander Intervention

Consent and Sexual Respect Initiative
Primary Prevention Strategies
Bystander Intervention

I was in the kitchen at a party, talking with a guy I used to see, and he was getting very touchy and inappropriate. I didn’t want to cut him off—it had been a long time since we talked— but it felt awful. One of my friends noticed, and interrupted to invite me out for pizza. I was so thankful!

People in action metaphor. Isolated on white

While some situations are easily noticeable, many other situations are better characterized as concerning or high-risk behaviors that are likely to escalate to dangerous situations, including:

offensive comments
atypical or withdrawn behavior
controlling behavior in a relationship
high-risk drinking (e.g., pre-gaming, taking shots, playing drinking games, blacking out, drinking alone).

Sometimes, a person’s gut instinct or intuition can be the best cue that a problem exists. Keep an eye on anything that’s worrying. Don’t ignore the ‘little’ stuff.

Recognize personal responsibility for intervention.

The question here is “do I need to act?” It can be easy to assume that others will intervene so you don’t have to, particularly, if other individuals or departments are charged with keeping the community safe

We are more likely to recognize the situation as requiring our help if:

No one else is around;
We can relate to the issue on a personal level, such as if our friend/family member is in danger;
We would want help if we were in that position; and/or
We understand the impact the situation could have if it continues.

The next step is interpreting the situation as a problem in need of intervention.

Is the person acting drunker than they are, or are they actually intoxicated?
Are people who are standing close together being consensually affectionate, or is one being intimidating or aggressive towards the other?
Has a friend seemed depressed for more than a week or two?

You may have to gather more information, for example by:

observing the situation
checking in verbally
asking someone else what they’ve seen

You may not be the person who needs to take direct action, but by identifying problems, you can help put the right solutions in place.

Who’s in the best position to act?

Call on friends, allies, hosts, authority figures—or do something yourself.
When’s the best moment? Now? Later? Do you need time to plan or to organize others?

Be creative and strategic.

Tips to protect yourself during interventions:

Ask your friends to help.
Approach others in a friendly manner.
Avoid using violence.
Call 911 or Public Safety for help if violence or harm seems unavoidable.

After you feel safe, you can focus on keeping a friend, acquaintance, or stranger safe, too. Taking action on one another’s behalf is how we create a vibrant, healthy, and engaged community. When you intervene effectively, the rewards are significant – for you and for our campus.

My friend was making out with another guy at a party, and I thought they would go home together. But then he caught my eye and kind of signaled. So I went up to them and pretended to be really drunk and needy. The other guy was bummed, but understood–when your friend is falling-down-drunk, you have to take him home.

the 4 d’s to approaching intervention

-Direct

Intervene by interacting with the people involved in the situation and addressing that you are concerned.

-Distract

Take an indirect approach to mitigating the situation through distraction or diversion.

-Delegate

If you are uncomfortable getting involved yourself or you feel like someone else is better suited to intervene, seek help from a third-party.

-Delay

If you are unable to intervene in the moment, check in with the person afterwards. Check in to see if you can do anything to help or support them.

Learn more about the origins of bystander intervention

I heard a neighbor saying “no” repeatedly to what sounded like unwanted sexual advances. I went out into the entryway, knocked on her door, and asked if everything was alright. She was angry at the interruption and said everything was okay—but the next day she went out of her way to thank me: “It means a lot to know that people are looking out for you.”

Think small.

Small interventions can be the most effective. Use humor and creativity. Act early. Act often.

Offer help.

Signal your concern and willingness to act. It’s okay if you are turned down at first or altogether. Simply offering to help changes the dynamics.

Disrupt the situation.

Intrude. Make a joke. Change the topic. Spill something. Be a third wheel.

Think big.

Most interventions are small. But some problems are so deeply entrenched that they require sustained action. Find allies and make plans.

De-escalate.

Be calm, respectful. Shift the focus away from the problem.

Name the problem.

Acknowledging that things aren’t right can go a long way.

Slow things down.

Give people time to extricate themselves, if that’s what they want.

BE SAFE.

If you think you are in danger, step back and get help.

A group of us were goofing around setting up for an event, telling jokes at the microphone. It was fun until one guy told a rape joke. I was too shocked to say anything then, but I felt horrible all day. Eventually, I went to his room to talk. It was a tough conversation, but he got it—he actually started crying when it sank in. Later, he thanked me for being so honest.

Bystander Intervention

Steps to Actions

Recognize personal responsibility for intervention.

Tips to protect yourself during interventions:

Make It Happen- Stay calm.

the 4 d’s to approaching intervention

Techniques for Intervening